Archive for October, 2008

I am deeply concerned about the current shortage of rigid collodion, and you should be, too, for the simple reason that it has terrible implications for my Halloween costume.

more…

For the past few months, I’ve complained about the lack of attractive options for displaying mouthwash. Those of you reading this from the clawfoot tub of your palatial master bathroom may not understand why one would consider mouthwash a display item, but in New York apartments, storage is an issue. I have a fantastic apartment, but there’s almost nowhere to put anything, especially in the bathroom. I am left with this:

Generic Green Mouthwash

Hideous, no?

I considered a few options, such as a decanter, and hoped that I would find something decent-looking at Muji, but no. There are plenty of lovely ways to show off your hand soap, but nothing really appropriate for mouthwash. After complaining about the issue to my friend Ben, he said, “How about a bottle of Maker’s Mark?” Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that before? My bottle of Maker’s Mark was only half-empty, and though I love a challenge, I wasn’t quite up to the task. Fortunately, I had an empty bottle of Jack Daniels sitting around. Behold!

Classy Mouthwash in Jack Daniels Bottle

How awesome is that? I have to imagine it’s an excellent conversation piece, except that I have already raved about this to anyone who might actually use my bathroom. Plus, I get to “pretend” to be a complete degenerate every morning when I take a swig from a bottle of JD. Sometimes I even bring it into the shower with me. It can be hard to start the day.

The main limitation here is that you have to use brown mouthwash, the flavor of carbonated bile. I suppose that makes some people feel clean. Ben’s wife, Lucy, suggested using a Bombay Sapphire bottle and the far more palatable blue mouthwash. But I don’t want to break the illusion, and I don’t know anyone who drinks gin from a bottle. I’m sure you’re out there, though, and are a lovely person.

For extra classiness points, I recommend leaving the bottle on the toilet tank. With the seat raised, of course:

Mouthwash Jack Daniels Bottle on Toilet